A Lesson in Burgling
by EventHorizon6
Summary: Bilbo reminisces on life in the Shire and learns a thing or two about becoming the burglar the dwarves need. No slash! Just a one-shot.


**A Lesson in Burgling**

Bilbo Baggins of Bag End had never dreamt that over the course of one evening he would be persuaded to accompany thirteen dwarves and a wizard on their quest to take back a mountain from a dragon. A few weeks ago if one had tried to tell Bilbo that he would soon be sharing in a most unlikely adventure with the lot he now accompanied he would have scoffed, even perhaps going so far as to think the speaker was mad.

Bilbo was quite used to his quiet life in his little Hobbit hole. He never did anything unexpected or uncivilized. He was a very well-known and respectable Hobbit and he preferred to keep it that way in his small community within the borders of the Shire, but when Gandalf and the dwarven prince Thorin Oakenshield had proposed he tag along as their burglar something within Bilbo had snapped into place. A long lost desire he had buried for years under responsibility and 'normal' Hobbit emotions. The desire was, but of course, for an adventure. Bilbo's Tookish side had finally emerged, overwhelming him as he gathered his things and chased after Thorin and Company. His longing for a journey beyond that which he was used to had so overwhelmed him he had not thought much about what he was getting himself into.

Now Bilbo sat with his back against a tree trunk in one of the many rolling forests of Middle Earth as he stared up at the stars twinkling through the canopy of leaves surrounding the rest of the sleeping dwarves. He hadn't been able to sleep much. He was still getting used to using a forest floor as a mattress and he often found himself wishing he was back at Bag End snuggled up in his feather down pillows and woolen blankets.

Not to mention every unidentifiable noise of the woodland made him uneasy. He had tried to be rational. Every night Thorin made sure the dwarves took turns keeping watch, and Bilbo had tried to reason that if there was anything dangerous he would most certainly be aware. Not to mention he was in the presence of Gandalf the Grey and the wizard did make Bilbo feel safer to some extent.

Still, that night in particular was one of the nights Bilbo couldn't seem to catch a wink of sleep. In retaliation he settled himself against the base of a tree and drew out his pipe for a smoke. Maybe practicing his smoke rings might comfort him a little. As Bilbo puffed on his pipe he thought about all the comforts of home. What he wouldn't give for a full dinner in his little kitchen. Perhaps even a supper, yes that would do quite nicely. In the morning he could awake and enjoy breakfast maybe even going into market later in the afternoon to greet some of the many other quaint Hobbit folk that lived around him.

He would speak to Hamfast Gamgee about how the garden was coming along and the Gaffer would notify Bilbo of all the different weeds he'd picked, maybe going so far as to speak about how his wife was doing. Feeling a little lonely and in need of company, Bilbo would invite them over for luncheon. Even young Samwise would be welcome. Bilbo always enjoyed little Samwise. He reminded him much of Frodo, his young cousin who was only eight.

Bilbo's fantasies were very soon shattered as one of the dwarves – Gloin – began to snore close by. Sighing, Bilbo put away his pipe. Yes, perhaps the smoke had reminded him a bit too much of home and an uncomfortable feeling was now causing his stomach to twist in odd ways. At first Bilbo suspected he had eaten something fowl from the last meal the dwarves had cooked up, but with a start he understood that the feeling was not a symptom of nausea, rather it was a symptom of homesickness.

Bilbo got to his feet at once. He was here now, on an adventure just as he had wanted, and he couldn't go back. What would the dwarves think of him if he tried to back out now? Poor Bilbo didn't want to think of such things. They were hardly far into their journey, and with a sinking feeling Bilbo realized they had many more grueling days ahead.

The Hobbit decided that a little walk around the perimeter of their campsite might do him some good. He began quietly picking his way around the trees. Gandalf was nowhere in sight, and Bilbo suspected the wizard was scouting ahead as he often did when the rest of the dwarves were preoccupied. As Bilbo crept quietly through the trees he had to stop himself from releasing a merry chuckle.

_Well_, he thought cheekily, _this is a fine thing after all. I'm practicing my burglar skills at least. _He was just debating whether he wanted to try sneaking Oin's small hearing aide (an odd tin contraption the dwarf often held up to his ear) when a voice resounded close by.

"Master Baggins, I suggest you get some rest. Our pace will not slow tomorrow morning."

Bilbo jumped so hard he nearly tripped over Bombur sleeping beside Oin. Turning around he spotted Thorin himself peering at him through the gloom, his face aglow from the small cinders of his pipe.

"Oh, uh, yes, of course," Bilbo cleared his throat, feeling intimidated by Thorin's presence and a little embarrassed he had been caught sneaking around.

"Master Baggins?"

Bilbo stopped and turned back to face Thorin. The dwarf gave him a queer look.

"What were you doing?"

"I was just, nothing. I wasn't doing anything of importance. I should, uh, get some rest," Bilbo stammered, trying to skirt back toward his makeshift bed.

"Burgling doesn't work if there's someone watching. Pay attention to your surroundings next time," Thorin criticized. Bilbo flushed a little at his own folly but said nothing more as he returned to his sleeping spot and pretended to doze off. He sat for a long time just listening to the sounds around him, and it was only when Bofur got up to relieve Thorin of his night watch duties did Bilbo decide to try again. This time he made absolutely sure Bofur was distracted by their ponies before he got back to his feet, creeping through the trees, his eyes skirting this way and that to make sure none of the other dwarves were awake to witness what he was about to attempt…

* * *

"Bilbo, get up, we have to get going!" Bilbo yawned as he blinked open exhausted eyes, trying to get used to the blinding sun now streaming through the trees. He pushed himself up, packing away his things as Kili hurried back to his brother's side to saddle their ponies.

"Ah, good morning, Bilbo. I see you slept well," Gandalf chuckled as Bilbo reached his own pony, Myrtle. The Hobbit could've sworn Gandalf was teasing him in his mischievous wizard way. All the same he greeted him in a respectable manner and struggled to climb atop his pony when a shout rang out across the clearing.

"Where's my aide?" Oin cried, searching his surrounding area for the hearing aide that often accompanied him.

"Oin we need to start moving, we can't worry about that now," Thorin grumbled, clearly vexed it was taking them this long to continue onward.

"I'm sure it's just stuffed away in your pack," Fili suggested, trying to comfort his friend.

"What?" Oin asked, pointing to his right ear to let Fili know he couldn't hear him all that well.

"I said it's probably just -!"

"Is this it right here?" Bilbo asked interrupting everyone as the Hobbit bent down and picked up the aide. Oin grinned, snatching it from Bilbo's hands and giving the Hobbit a nod of thanks.

"Great eye, Bilbo!" Kili praised, slapping the Hobbit on the back. Bilbo let a small smile pass his lips as Thorin barked for them to get moving. The lead dwarf passed the Hobbit a suspicious look as little Bilbo mounted his pony. The Hobbit urged Myrtle forward while the dwarves took up their familiar line along the small dirt path they followed throughout the wooded area.

"A keen eye indeed," Gandalf spoke as he rode beside Bilbo.

"What?" Bilbo questioned before realizing what the wizard was referring to. "O-Oh, yes. He must've dropped it earlier."

"I distinctly remember that Master Oin had his aide with him when he settled in the night before," Gandalf pointed out, giving Bilbo a knowing look.

"Well, perhaps he dropped it when he got up this morning," Bilbo shrugged, trying his best not to blush or reveal that it was all his doing, though he had a distinct feeling that Gandalf knew that anyway.

"Perhaps, my dear Bilbo, we'll make a burglar out of you yet," Gandalf laughed as he rode on ahead of Bilbo toward Thorin's side. Bilbo stared after the wizard and shook his head with his own smile growing on his face.

_Burglar indeed!_ he thought.

**A/N: ****I had sworn to myself that I would never write a Hobbit or Lord of the Rings fan fiction because I didn't believe I could capture Tolkien's majesty that he does in his works, and I didn't want to ever write a story that would ruin his characters, because they are so freaking brilliant!****Well...I guess I lied to myself. I actually wrote this at 1 in the morning because I was inspired at that time. **

**I've actually been reading this amazing Hobbit fan fiction myself and I guess that influenced me a bit as well. I tried to keep all the characters as in 'character' as possible, especially Bilbo so I drew from my knowledge of the books: The Hobbit and from The Lord of the Rings as well as the movies, but mostly the books.****So a few notes:**

**Hamfast "Gaffer" Gamgee: Sam's father who is Bilbo's gardener.**

**Frodo is only eight at this point - I don't know for sure if he was this age in the books (it never mentions Frodo in the Hobbit) - but I wanted to reference Frodo at a time before his parents died when he was 9 and before Bilbo named him his heir at 21 years old. **

**And as for Oin's 'Hearing aide' that's from the movie. I have no idea what that thing is called so I called it a hearing aide because it helps him hear in the movie. It's an odd sort of tin tube contraption.****I tried to find out what it was called, but it didn't have a name. If I ever figure it out I'll go back and change this.**

**So that's about it, let me know how I did everyone! Also, in the book Bilbo often thinks to himself so I tried to capture some of Tolkien's style (and failed miserably...wahh!) by adding in Bilbo's italicized thoughts here and there as well as his longing for home (which is also mentioned quite frequently in the book).**

**Yeah, so, again, tell me if you guys liked it or didn't like it or thought that it could be better, etc.****I just love****The Hobbit****! I'm listening to the soundtrack as I write this hehehe**


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